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I have no delusions that my mother was perfect. I do not belong to the school of thought that my mother did no wrong and that my upbringing was perfect and that I wasn’t damaged by her treatment. I suffered from the abuse she inflicted on me, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically … all in the name of discipline. I can acknowledge that she was damaged and that she did the best she could but that was soooooooo far away from from being healthy that her actions were damaging and detrimental. I don’t feel inferior or ashamed to say that my mother was fucked up and that the things she did to me, the things she showed me, the lessons she taught me were dysfunctional. To acknowledge that is to be healthy and to heal myself from that damage is evolutionary.

Black women don’t want shit to do with a bisexual man. GOD FORBID she might have to share her man with another man. Oh, hell naw. That’s nasty. Sharing her man with another woman however? Black women brag about it. Hell make a TV show about a Black woman sharing her man with another woman and it’s #1 in the ratings. Then there is the every popular, “Bisexual men spread AIDS.” Uhmmm, honey, if you haven’t been tested and you don’t know the status of your lovers before you start having unprotected sex with them, you can’t blame anyone but yourself for your HIV status. Spare me the, “it’s the down low married men spreading the disease to their wives and the guys who get out of prison.” The men who have unprotected sex with any woman they find on craigslist or backpage because they are addicted to ejaculating are spreading the disease just as much. Oh, you don’t date those sorts of men? HAHAHAHA.

Black people have NO concept of what makes a healthy relationship. We don’t know how to communicate, compromise, or concede. We insist that we are all right and that the other person is all wrong; we never acknowledge our own shortcomings. We refuse to let go of past hurts. We belittle and degrade our partners, saying hurtful things without apologizing. We seek revenge, not peace. We have no concept of how to get along, work together, let it go, heal, and love in a healthy way.

Our parents beating our asses wasn’t healthy, it was hurtful. It didn’t help us become better people, it crippled us emotionally to believe that love is painful. We are not better parents for giving our children whatever they want and not beating them, we are emotionally crippling them by teaching them that they don’t have to be held responsible for anything in life.

LIGHT SKIN IS NOT BETTER THAN DARK SKIN. Light skinned women are not prettier. They don’t deserve more respect. STOP with the coddling of light skinned women and giving them money and reinforcing to them that their yellow skin makes them more valuable. Stop reinforcing to your sons that they need to find a light skin girlfriend to have lighter children. STOP.

Apologize. When you do or say something wrong, say, “I’m sorry.” Not only say that you were wrong, that you apologize, but work to heal and correct that behavior so you don’t keep doing it, so you don’t have to keep apologizing.

Cheating is self-centered and egotistical. If you are in a relationship and you are unhappy, be mature enough to walk away, don’t cheat.  It hurts your partner, it’s childish. 

Relationships are not about money. Relationships are not about who pays for what, who buys what, relationships are not about financial transactions. Stop holding how much money you bring to the relationship over your partner’s head, stop keeping a tally about how much you pay in bills. Stop using money to negotiate. Stop equating money with pussy. It’s all unhealthy and dysfunctional and it is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.

I understand that Black people have a different aesthetic when it comes to what we define as beautiful. We celebrate women who are “thick”. It’s unfortunate and sad that Black women are striving to be thick in order to be attractive to men. Rather than being happy with our bodies, rather than striving to be healthy and fit, we are trying to make men lust our our asses, to have bigger butts than the next women so we can be objectified more.

Someone Please Call 911.  I’m here to tell you right now, unless we as a people start healing our emotional wounds and forming stronger relationships, we are doomed for social annihilation.  We are already behind the eight ball.  We are already suffering from generations of dysfunction being passed down and being magnified.  It’s getting worse, it’s not getting better.  Technology and the media are creating our consciousness.  They are dictating how we behave.  Drugs, alcohol, porn, a dependence on a false religion, and a society of instant gratification are allowing people to believe that they are just fine and that the problem is with everyone else but them.  We have embraced ghetto mentality to men Blackness.  We are dumb.  We are broken.  We are emotionally immature.  We are still very much slaves on the plantation.  We are perpetuating dysfunctional and unhealthy beliefs, we are blinding following a God who doesn’t exist, we are in denial about our own pain, and we truly don’t know how to communicate effectively.  The need to be right and the FEAR of being disrespected are dictating our actions and it’s killing us.  We need HELP! 

If a man enjoys anal stimulation, it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with his sexual orientation. It’s because he has a prostate, ALL men have a prostate, and when the nerve endings in the anus (just like a woman’s) and the prostate is stimulated, they receive pleasure. A man enjoying anal stimulation has nothing to do with homosexuality. It’s 2014. It time to stop being willfully ignorant about sexuality.

Ladies, you feel me on this one, don’t you?  There is nothing in the world like the feeling of being penetrated, that first thrust, that initial sensation that takes your breath away.  When arousal turns to lust and you are desperate for that connection and you know nothing will satisfy you but being filled.  You’re wet and slippery and your senses are heightened.  You want, no crave that feeling of a hard dick pushing inside you, completing you.  FUCK! There is no other sensation that compares to that first plunge that massages your walls and connects you to your lover. 

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